Who decrees these things?

For like some time now, people can’t seem to converse without like using the word like twelve times a sentence.  Who made this a rule of, like, etiquette?

And lexicographers have been like madly scrambling to keep up with the like hundreds of new words that have been like welded together from traditional separate pairings.  Like bookstore, bookshelf, backseat, businesswoman.  Which constitutional amendment like grants everybody this right?

So, like the latest bigthing is to begin like every single reply to a question with the word so.  Allofadamnsudden it’s like a worldwide social requirement.

So, like whothehell decrees these things?

Phil